the forthcoming years and what they mean to the kedonald faith

the birth of the kedonald faith took place on the 18th of November 2002, when during the night the prophet kedonald made himself known to the chief Nanoo in the form of an apparition. this was the start of modern day KeDonaldism and therefore anything that happened before that date will be known as bk (before kedonald) and there after will be known as ak (after kedonald-simple eh!) from that point on each nanoo year will be represented by an object,living,dead,mineral or vegetable. during the following year that item will be sacred.

below is a list of the years to come and what they will mean to the kedonald faith believers.

in time it will be traditional that on new years day the oldest member of the family will wash the feet of the first born, and then present them with a gift. these gifts are outlined below. after the feet have been washed and the presentation made the oldest family member will say to the first born

"now off you go into the new year and try and keep your feet clean"

18th nov 02/17th nov 03- the year of the budgie

18th nov 03/17th nov 04- the year of the pork pie

18th nov 04/17th nov 05- the year of the pot noodle

18th nov 05/17th nov 06- the year of the steak and kidney pie

18th nov 06/17th nov 07- the year of the whelk

18th nov 07/17th nov 08- the year of the Vinderloo

18th nov 08/17th nov 09- the year of the doughnut

18th nov 09/17th nov 10- the year of the Cornish pasty

18th nov 10/17th nov 11- the year of the cupa soup

18th nov 11/17th nov 12- the year of the wood chisel

18th nov 12/17th nov 13- the year of the kebab

18th nov 13/17th nov 14- the year of the bloody big asteroid that is going to smash into the earth and make it wobble a bit causing a few bits to fly off, namely the isle of Wight and Australia. but once the wobbling has stopped civilisation as we know it will start to return to normal, the polar ice caps will stabilise themselves and a few weeks after that once the leaves have been cleared from the tracks, British rail will run again. plants will start to shoot their heads through the soil and the first signs of animal life will appear. once the dust has settled man will emerge from his shelter and shortly after that the donor kebab will go back into full production.

there will be much rejoicing around the globe apart from the isle of Wight and Australia. still not to worry, you can't win em all

18th nov 14/17th nov 15- the year of the scotch egg

18th nov 15/17th nov 16- the year of the beaver

18th nov 16/17th nov 17- the year of the goldfish

this will be the final year because after the year of the goldfish, civilisation as we know it will end. man will learn that the great wobble of 2014 was a lot more serious than was first thought. this is just one of the amazing predictions made by the world famous astrologer and spot welder 'kedonaldarmus' the full list of global predictions are available on the predictions page of this site.