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THE SECOND COMING
The second
coming took place on the 5th of October 2003,(two days after holy day.) this
event in itself was unusual ,because once is normally enough for me. And once is
normally once to much for the wife. Anyway as I was saying it was a normal
Saturday evening, my wife and I had been to one of the kedonald faith shrines
for a lovely chicken Vinderloo, and a few even lovelier cold beers to wash it
down.
Later that evening as we were heading back down the path of the
righteous (the M4) to our house, (the kedonald faith hq) I noticed in the
distance a bright light high in the night sky, and it looked to me as if to be
directly above where we live. Thinking that it could be a ‘sign’ or something to
do with the previous weeks festivities, which were to celebrate the first
official holy day. I didn’t take to much notice. But as we got closer the light,
which by now was much brighter seemed to be flashing as if trying to grab our
attention and maybe even warn us of a forth coming intergalactic event. The mist
was rolling in like it was coming in of the sea, but then I thought it cant be
because we’re bloody miles from the sea.
By now my hands were sweating and
holding the steering wheel so tight I thought my fists were going to explode, a
few minutes later the clouds cleared and for a brief moment I was able to see
what the bright flashing object was. Down one side of it I could see a row of
bright white lights and one red one high up at the back.
It was not as I had
first thought it to be, a sign or a warning of a dark and mysterious happening,
but turned out to be the marker lights on a British airways 747, making its
final approach into Heathrow.
And as I looked closer, I could see two more
aircraft behind, also coming in to land. Funny how your mind can play tricks
with you, or was it the complimentary brandy I had in the restaurant playing
games with my mind.
We arrived home, turned on the telly looked at what was
on and then turned the telly off. I switched my attention to the cd collection,
as my finger tips were passing gently over the case ends trying to select which
one to play, I felt a sort of tingling sensation in my fingers. Then it stopped.
I did it again and noticed that my fingers only tingled when I got to the Pink Floyd
section of the collection. Now was this another sign of something strange
about to happen or just a mild case of pins and needles? After all, the bright
light had turned out to be a jumbo jet, and who was to say that the tingling
sensation was anything else but just that. I sat down in the chair and the cat
jumped on my lap, which was strange because we haven’t got one. Whose cat was
it? Or was it another sign?. Then I remembered, we were looking after a
neighbour’s cat while they were away on holiday. As I stroked her, her fur was
standing up on end and she was growling. Now Normally I would enjoy stroking a
furry growler, but two minutes later, the growling became louder and finally she
bit me, and then jumped of my lap. Shortly after that, my right foot made
contact with her arse, and she ran of. I went in search of a plaster to stick on
my bleeding finger.
With the plasters stuck firmly in place I went back to
my cd’s and again started to thumb through my collection. it happened again !
But now the tingling sensation was even stronger and seemed to be at its
strongest when my finger touched ‘Echoes’ which is the best of Pink Floyd.( as
if you didn’t know)
I immediately took it from its case and inserted it into
the machine and pressed play. Astronomy Domine, see Emily Play, The Happiest
days of our lives, Brick in the wall. It must have been halfway through the next
track ‘Echoes’ that I slipped into a deep almost coma like sleep.
(Now if
your familiar with the kedonald faith, you’ll know that it all started back in
November (02) in the form of an apparition. That tale, amongst others is on the
home page of this site and if your interested?……..)
(You can also read the
story of creation, your new year horoscopes, and even have a look at the problem
page.)
A couple of hours later I woke up and standing in front of me was a
dark figure who was the spitting image of George Formby (Ukulele player from the
1940s)
It was at this point I realised, this was my second visit from the
prophet kedonald, and fair play to him; it was a Saturday night like I had asked
him during his first visit. He looked at me and told me “to sit up straight and
listen”. He told me he was pleased at the way I had been spreading the word, but
was a bit disappointed that I had decided to drop the membership fee to a fiver.
And had so far not led anybody into the promised land (Hounslow) I said that I
had taken two friends of mine ( Chris & Elaine) to the promised land one
Saturday night for a meal at one of the kedonald faith shrines, but at the end
of the evening they said that Hounslow looked a very nice place, but if it was
all the same they’d rather go home. Well what could I do ?, but take them back,
and hope that in the fullness of time they would see the error of their ways and
maybe one day return to the promised land, settle down and start a new life. He
liked the food blessing idea (Kedoded produce) and thought that in years to come
we could start up a Kedoded meals on wheels service, it could be a nice little
earner if we hit the market at the right time. Then he told me he was going to
put eight disciples on the Earth to help me with the faith and to help spread
the word to a wider audience. He didn’t tell me where I would find them, but he
did tell me their names- Steven-David-Nigel-Nick-Sydney-Richard-Rodger and
Trevor.
Now I know a Trevor and a Richard but they’re non-believers, I do
know a Nigel and he is a believer, also a very good painter and decorator. I
even know a Rodger who is currently spreading the word as we speak, but the
other names don’t mean a thing to me.
These names played on my mind for a
few days, and eventually I think I found the connection. The names
Rodger,Sydney,David Nick and Richard are all connected (or could be) with the
Band Pink Floyd, even Stephen could be Stephen Hawkins. (Keep talking)
Then
I started to think back to the night of the second coming and remembered the
tingling sensation I had in my fingers when I was in contact with the Floyd cd’s.
Now could these happenings be just coincidental or is the prophet
kedonald a secret Floyd fan and is he trying to tell us that the kedonald faith
is to be the new religion for Pink Floyd fans . Or did I just dream up the whole
thing?.
Later that night I woke up, sweating and trembling, and had a
terrible pain in my stomach Was it another sign?
Dam right it was, and to be
honest I only just made it to the toilet, I was fully dilated and almost
touching cloth.
Still you can’t beat a good Saturday night Vinderloo and a
few beers to get you of to a windy start on Sunday morning. And remember-toilet
paper in the fridge on a Saturday night is a famous kedonald faith tradition
that has been passed down through the generations for hundreds of years. (Well
November 18th 2002 to be precise)
Now these events may sound strange, and
make of them what you will. But this second visit has made my belief in the
kedonald faith even stronger… Now it’s time for you to make up your own minds…
Are you believers or non-believers, or just a little bit crazy like me?
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