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Letters to the Nanoo



Dear Chief Nanoo
For some time now I have been seeing a lady who is twice my age. And recently our relationship went a step further and we ended up sleeping together. The morning after as we lay together in a warm embrace, the mood was shattered somewhat by a loud bang. As I leaned over the edge of the bed to see what the cause was, I was shocked to see a wooden leg lying on the floor. And my girlfriend looking a tad embarrassed. Ah Ha !!! I thought, that would explain how those splinters came to be embedded in my arse. Not to mention the smell of creosote and the early morning dew on the bed. Being a Carpenter these events have brought us closer together and only last week Hilda let me carve my name just above her knee. Having a long name I had to go round twice, but this experience seems to have cemented our love for one another. Although it has made her knee a bit weaker due to the loss of timber during the carving process…..she is quite happy to limp on. Still not to worry……Love is a many splendid thing.

Woody von bluecirclehooperstrooperlin Smith (Epping)


Dear Chief Nanoo
I feel I must write to thank you for your yearly Horoscope. Every November I wait with moist anticipation to see what the coming year has in store for me. Being a Pisces I took your advice and started evening classes for Morris Dancing at our local adult education centre. And during these evenings have met many new and interesting friends. One of them being my Cyril, both of us have also started riding a unicycle to work and after the abuse and suffering we were put through by other members of the public it has got to a stage where now we just ignore them. I also, like you advised went to the Doctors to have that lump looked at on my leg. And it turns out that it is quite a serious condition only associated with Morris dancing Unicycle riding women and it will probably mean that this will be my last Christmas, still the past year has been a lot of fun even if it does turn out to be my last

Many thanks once again, Hilda (Stoke on Trent)


Dear Chief Nanoo
After visiting your Web site and joining the Kedonald Faith I can only tell you of the joy I have experienced since becoming a member. June was a tough month for me because being Bamalamb (no food during the hours of darkness) I had to break the habit of a lifetime of getting up at 2 in the morning and making myself a sausage sandwich. I switched it to 4.30am and to be quite honest the extra 2 hours sleep have done me the world of good. Giving up drinking chocolate has been easy because I never drunk it before. And as for eating a Pot Noodle in public, I now sit in my car away from the crowds. With the New Year now upon us (The Year of the Pork Pie) who knows what exiting events await us. ‘May the Faith be with us all’

Albert…(Tel Aviv)


Dear Mr Nanoo or may I call you Chief?
I recently visited you web site and must say that I was very impressed with what I read. Your Religion sounds just like what I’m looking for. For years and years I have been looking for an alternative religion that has got a sense of humour and in the Kedonald Faith I think I’ve finally found what I’ve been looking for. Some of the rules and regs are a bit of the wall, but giving up Drinking Chocolate is a small price to pay for a lifetime of fulfilment. Please find my five pounds membership fee enclosed which I understand is fully refundable when I get to the turnstiles at the entrance to Kedonald Heaven. See you there… not to soon I hope

Best wishes The Reverend Ike (West Wycombe)


Dear Mr Nanoo
Just a short note to thank you for the advice you gave me after I contacted you through your problem page at the Kedonald Faith web site. At the time I was feeling very low and trying to come to terms with my ugliness. You advised me to stay indoors and keep away from the children as not to frighten them, and maybe decorate a few rooms in the house in an effort to cheer myself up. Well I did, and to be honest the magnolia walls in the living room look so good that now I don’t want to go out and socialise and I’m now quite happy to be on my own. Day in day out, week in week out, month in month out.

Once again thank you. Rose (Reading)


If you would like to write to the Chief Nanoo about the Kedonald Faith or any other subject that might be of some interest to somebody out there, Please do not hesitate to contact us. You will find the contact details on our homepage.

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