THE STORY OF CREATION

On the first day Kedonald dug out the footings which were hard because he have’eth not a digger and there was much stony ground which took it’s toll on his back and he was heard to mumble under his breath “Bollocks to this my backs killing me!”

Day two and Kedonald wait’eth many hours for the concrete to arrive and lo when it did, it was raining so Kedonald

Got very wet and he was not happy.

On the third day Kedonald created all the fields and countryside including the green belt and the rivers, but lo he forgot the Maidenhead flood Alleviation

Scheme, which many years later was built and became the Jubilee River.

On the fourth day he created man and after a few modifications Woman. She never stopped nagging and man was not happy. But later that evening he was because yae he slippeth her a portion.

And later that year she was with child and lo the nagging started again.

On the fifth day he created the animals these he made out of meat so man would find them tasty, later on that day he created the Donner Kebab and it was good, and mans belly was full. And he haveth a little sleep!

On the sixth day Kedonald created Foreigners these were overseas people

Who were to be slaves. But no, later on they were to getteth above their station and started to drive Buses and work in Hospitals and take over every sweet shop in the world and it was not good. But after a while he got used to it and lo you could getteth a pint of milk at 8 o’clock in the evening long after the supermarkets had shut.

But in later times that was to change

And some Supermarkets would never shut!!

And so with everything in place the Prophet Kedonald said its Sunday tomorrow! Bollocks I’m not working I’m gonna have a lye in.

And yae he did and it was bloody lovely until he got cramp in his leg and had to jump out of bed and run to the bathroom to stand on the cold Lino.

So after the creation contract Kedonald retired with a bad back and spent most of his time playing Bowls in Worthing.